Naughty Lifestyles Journal

Fake Orgasms? Now There's PROOF!!

2005-06-29T01:14:00.000-07:00

New research indicates parts of the brain that govern fear and anxiety are switched off when a woman is having an orgasm but remain active if she is faking.

In the first study to map brain function during orgasm, scientists from the Netherlands also found that as a woman climaxes, an area of the brain governing emotional control is largely deactivated.

"The fact that there is no deactivation in faked orgasms means a basic part of a real orgasm is letting go. Women can imitate orgasm quite well, as we know, but there is nothing really happening in the brain," said neuroscientist Gert Holstege, presenting his findings Monday to the annual meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology.
In the study, Holstege and his colleagues at Groningen University recruited 11 men, 13 women and their partners.

The volunteers were injected with a dye that shows changes in brain function on a scan. For men, the scanner tracked activity at rest, during erection, during manual stimulation by their partner and during ejaculation brought on by the partner's hand.

For women, the scanner measured brain activity at rest, while they faked an orgasm, while their partners stimulated their clitoris and while they experienced orgasm.

Holstege said he had trouble getting reliable results from the study on men because the scanner needs activities lasting at least two minutes and the men's climaxes didn't last that long. However, the scans did show activation of reward centers in the brain for men, but not for women.

Holstege said his results on women were more clear. When women faked orgasm, the cortex, the part of the brain governing conscious action, lit up. It was not activated during a genuine orgasm. Even the body movements made during a real orgasm were unconscious, Holstege said. The most striking results were seen in the parts of the brain that shut down, or deactivated. Deactivation was visible in the amygdala, a part of the brain thought to be involved in the neurobiology of fear and anxiety.

"During orgasm, there was strong, enormous deactivation in the brain. During fake orgasm, there was no deactivation of the brain at all. None," Holstege said.

Shutting down the brain during orgasm may ensure that obstacles such as fear and stress did not get in the way, Holstege proposed. "Deactivation of these very important parts of the brain might be the most important necessity for having an orgasm," he said.

Donald Pfaff, professor of neurobiology and behavior at Rockefeller University in New York, said the interpretations were reasonable. "It makes poetic sense," said Pfaff, who was not connected with the research.

Traveling with Sex Toys...and not getting caught!

2005-06-29T00:31:00.000-07:00

If the fear of getting “caught” with your favorite sex toy prevents you from bringing them along, then read on. Or maybe it turns you on.....well, read on anyway. A little planning, and you'll be all set.

If you're flying, best not carry-on. You might be a little red-faced at security, entertaining for your fellow travelers. Check a bag or, if you only travel with carry-on, select one of the discreet adult toys below.

If you have a private getaway planned, then bring it all on. Otherwise, you might want to bring something with a lock on it, especially if traveling with kids. A waterproof toy can be used discreetly in the shower or bath, or a really quiet toy for late-night. If it's a tropical vacation, with a pool, jacuzzi etc., then a waterproof toy is simply a must. Don't leave home without it. There are a lot of smaller size pocket rockets to choose from if you're pressed for space.

By the way, be creative. A shower massager or spa jet can definitely take the place of a vibrator.

If you’re having trouble deciding which of your favorite toys to bring along, lay them all out and then pick out the cream of the crop. A curved vibrator can be used on the clit, G spot, prostate, and nipples.....think multi-use. Also, a finger or tongue vibrator can be used for self pleasure and/or help get either or both of you off.

A few discreet suggestions:

Lipstick Vibrator. Just what it sounds like, just another beauty product in your carry-on or purse.

Vibra-Pen. Tuck it into your shirt pocket or purse. These pen-shaped vibrators often double as a real pen. Perfect to write your next sexy blog chapter or a steamy love letter.

Rubber Duckie. The come in yellow and black. Looks just like your childhood bathtub duckie.

Techno-dildos. Look like pagers or MP3 players etc. Since everyone carries a pager or something like it, it'll pass. They may ask you to turn it on, so be prepared to offer that up.

Some sex toys like plastic flexible dildos, cock rings and bondage toys look like they're supposed to......like sex toys. But then again, glass dildos look like art objects, and leather cock rings double nicely as wristbands. Don't bring or wear a metal cock ring though.... Hard to take off while passing through that metal detection thingie.

Hey, you've got to fight for your right to party and pleasure!! If caught....what the hell. Get them jealous of your attitude. Give them that sultry stare-down and say, “It’s my Rubber Duckie Vibe and it gives me pleasure just thinking about the fun I'm gonna have.” Trust me. There'll be a lot of your fellow passengers looking for one on the Internet or the local sex store that night.....and the security guard....well, depends on what he looks like ladies....right?

Desire on the ebb? Ask your doc about this guys...and ladies!

2005-04-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

For you older gents out there.....and some day, you all will be. Finding it a little less interesting when the potential for sex is in the air? We have answers! Something called "hypogonadism" may be responsible. This is a decreased production of hormones from the sex glands. For you anatomy/phsiology 101 flunkies, in men, these are the testes. In women, it is the ovaries (see below at the end of this post). The condition is characterized by symptoms such as impotence, decreased interest in sex, lowered mood, fatigue etc. You get the picture...

So, the answer, under doctor's supervision of course, involves testosterone replacement therapy. This used to mean shots, implants or pills. Today transdermal patches and gels applied to the skin has made it all so much easier.

Testosterone gels can restore libido, mood and energy levels. Studies show that they best mimic the body's own testosterone supply and absorb into the body with the least complications, when compared to other methods of treatment.

Application is pretty simple. With AndroGel, you just apply the gel by hand to your shoulders and upper arms and/or the abdomen. The stuff can rub off and wash off. So, no showers or jacuzzis etc for about 5-6 hours. By the way, it's not an instant response thing. This stuff takes weeks to really kick in, so don't think of it as Viagra. This is more of a baseline booster so you can get back to being your over-sexed self over time.

Like anything else, there may be side effects which can include acne, breast enlargement, emotional instability, high blood pressure, and prostate disorders. So, that's why you need your doc involved. And no, this does not mean you all get man boobs.....these are all just possiblities and depends on how much you use.

So buyer beware, and read up on all the details before going ahead since no-one knows the long term side effects of all this. Ahh, the price we pay for wanting and getting some booty......

Finally, for all the ladies, testosterone is the sex hormone produced by your ovaries which also is also responsible for your sex drive. It's not the estrogen. So, testosterone replacement is available for you too.

Now all.....let's get it started.....let's get is started......

Hey, Condom Size Matters! Pay Attention!

2005-04-04T16:56:00.000-07:00

Most men have been there at one time or another. That moment when total sexual exhilaration turns to pure panic and fear...fear that the "little astronaut" out on his moon walk has lost his space suit. Fear that the knight is no longer wearing his shining armor.

The number one reason that condoms break or slip off during the horizontal mambo is that the Johnson in question was not properly dressed. Like shoes or bras, careful consideration must be given to condom size. Yes, all men are created equal — but in very different shapes and sizes when it comes to the trouser department. And while it may not be the size of the wave that floats your boat, when it comes to choosing a condom, size does matter.

Researchers Agree
A recent survey by Durex Condoms revealed that the length of an erect penis can range from four to nine inches, while penis widths can vary from just over one inch to more than two inches. The Durex study also found that 50% of the almost 3,000 survey respondents felt that the condoms they regularly used did not fit properly; 25% said the condoms were "too tight," 10% said they were "much too tight," and 15% responded that the condoms were "too loose" or "much too loose." Not surprisingly, 42% of those surveyed indicated that condoms should be "better shaped." A whopping 44% of those surveyed reported they had experienced condom slippage or breakage problems in the past.

The Durex study concluded, "Given the wide range of penis sizes and the relatively narrow range of condoms designed to fit them, it is perhaps unsurprising to find that 50% of respondents felt that the condoms they use did not fit them properly. The answers provided also indicate that condoms which don't fit properly are more likely to break during use..."

Another study performed by La Trobe University in Australia examined the effect of penis dimension on the probability of complete condom slippage and/or condom breakage in actual use. A total of 3,658 condoms were used by 184 men. Over the course of the study, 16% of the men experienced at least one instance of breakage and 19% experienced complete slippage. The study concluded that condom breakage was strongly associated with penis circumference, particularly for men with above-average girth. In fact, each additional centimeter of penis circumference beyond the average 13.19 cm increased the risk of breakage by 50-100%. Like the Durex study, the
researchers concluded, "This finding suggests a need to increase either the range of condom sizes currently available or the [girth] of currently available condoms."

Erection Rejection
It is no secret that many mendislike wearing condoms. Some Men say that condoms interfere with sex, "getin way," or "kill the mood." Most of the time however, these problems arise because the man has difficulty putting on the condom, or is concerned that the damn thing may slip off.

If a condom is difficult to put on due to size issues, the little soldier may suddenly be unable to stand at attention. A survey conducted by the University of Sydney, Australia found that two-thirds of the men surveyed reported they "sometimes" or "often" lost their erection while trying to put on a condom. Of course without an erection, a condom is impossible to put on at all.

While many men struggle to put on ill-fitting condoms that are too small, many others experience anxiety that the condom may slip off their slimmer girth. This anxiety can also interfere with the ability to keep the flag at full mast. Condoms that are too loose increase the odds of slippage or leakage.

Paradoxically, one of the most common reasons condoms slip off is because they are too tight or too long — if not fully rolled down, the ring at the base can enter the man's partner and be dragged off. Condoms that are too short also increase the risk of exposure to STDs. When condoms are too tight, breakage and slippage is more likely to occur, and sensitivity can be significantly diminished.

The reality is that condom size is very important. Unfortunately, unlike penises, most condoms around the world today are made in a very narrow range of sizes. In fact, the overwhelming majority of condoms do not refer to size at all, and simply are marketed as a "one size fits all" product. While a few companies like Trojan have shown some sensitivity to the size issue by producing some larger sized models, very few such products exist, and even fewer are available for those needing a snugger fit. Millions of men continue to struggle with the "one size fits all" mentality that the condom manufacturers apply to condom size, often leading to very unfortunate results. Given the inherent difficulties in measuring customers to ensure a more tailored condom fit, condom producers simply continue to force round
pegs into square holes.

Revolutionary New Condom is Custom Sized to Fit
The one size fits all concept of condoms is about to change. A revolutionary new line of condoms that features 55 different sizes will now ensure that every man will have a condom that fits him properly. Backed by two patents in ten countries, They-Fit Condoms are available in a multitude of length and girth combinations. This new line offers sizes that go well beyond the limited range of sizes currently available, from three inches long to ten inches long, and from super slim to extra roomy. For the first time ever, condoms are being sold like shoes or bras.

They-Fit Condoms protect both the wearer and his partner, reducing both risk and anxiety. "Men everywhere, regardless of their size, will finally be able to get a
condom that fits properly in order to have the safest and most enjoyable experience possible," says Frank C. Sadlo, the inventor of They-Fit Condoms.

Of course, comfort is what consumers will notice most of all about They-Fit Condoms. A custom "wrap" job for each man begins with the simple "Fit Kit," which can be downloaded from Condomania's Web site (link noted below). The "Fit Kit" enables a man (or even his enthusiastic partner) to quickly and easily measure his penis length and girth according to the Fit Kit's proprietary sizing chart, which then display's the appropriate custom condom size. The dozens of available sizes
ensure that men of all shapes and sizes will be able to be dressed properly for their big events.

Men need not worry how they measure up with the "Fit Kit"; the proprietary numbering system is not relative to actual size. Thus ordering a box of B88's is no more embarrassing than ordering a box of Z11's. According to Sadlo, "It is important to note that these numbers are not relative to other letters and numbers, so that no one will be self conscious about the size of the They Fit Condom they buy."

Check out Condomania.com
which is a pretty comprehensive online bet for whatever you desire in condoms, including the aforementioned They Fit line.
Story by Adam Glickman

Great new protection and hot sex too!

2005-03-26T19:03:00.000-08:00

Bare-backing a little too much for your own good? Boring old condoms not what you’re into? Hey, why take the risk? Especially if you can mix protection and pleasure! Here’s a little twist from that’ll excite and protect at the same time! Check this – a battery-operated silicone ring that fits over a normal condom to make it pulsate. Several variations exist and retails at $6-25 (for one). In Australia this has become the No.1-selling condom since its December release. Even people who don't like using condoms and others who have no need for contraception are keenly trying the product – simply for the sensation.

The vibrating condoms, which are either full on units(more expensive) or more like attachable and re-usable vibrating cock rings, are not the only imaginative creations on the market. A scan of your local supermarket or sex store aisle will reveal everything from studded and ribbed rubbers to novelty varieties, including condoms in the shape of devils, hands and horses. For those who like a few tunes to get them in the mood, there are the new musical condoms. Fitted with a mini electronic device connected to tiny sensors, the condom produces songs which get louder as the sex becomes more passionate, while the choice of tune is determined by the position.

Need to cool down a bit? Try the ice condom, containing a special lubricant which cools to create an icy feeling. How about heating up a little faster? Then try the warming condoms, which use the same principle but in reverse.

Pckaging seems to sell too. What a surprise! Packets featuring semi-naked models with a seductive look tended to be the most popular sellers. Packaging also helped make the flavoured and coloured varieties popular, especially in the 18 to 25-year-old market. The more unusual varieties, such as the vibrating and warming condoms, are bought by slightly older customers, aged 24 and over.

The more "out there" condoms also have proven popular with female consumers, with many buying the product purely for fun and to spice up their relationship.

Interested? Here’s one place we found that you can order online for all the above goodies. Simply called CONDOMANIA

There are not too many sites that offer the vibrating condom, and you should definitely check that!

Enjoy!

Gentlemen, start your toys!

2005-03-16T23:32:00.000-08:00

OK guys, this one is for you, but ladies can certainly get it started too!! What do your naughty-intentioned evenings amount to? Whether it is a husband-wife, girlfriend-boyfriend situation, or whatever, you might want to make sure it is always energized. Keep it alive. Just say “NO” to a pizza and a movie and boring Saturday same-old-thing sex. Live a little!! One way you can change it up and add a little naughty spice to your sex is to get a sex toy or two and learn how to use it/them. But listen up, you usually can’t just come running up with a vibrating gyrating electronic gizmo and ram it into parts unknown. So, first start off with your significant other and follow some steps to make sure you get this to be a pleasurable experience that keeps on giving. Oh yeah, if you think that sex toys are an insult to your manhood, don’t bother reading the rest of this article. This is meant for those who are exploring new avenues and somehow have missed out on the joys of toys. Used properly you can guarantee hot erotic encounters and a dripping wet pussy every time.

First think about asking her what she thinks about sex shops and the products they sell. If she gets her panties in a bunch and goes on a tirade that sex shops are repulsive and targeted towards perverts, that might just alert you to a red flag running up the pole. Umm, this might mean it’s time for a new more enlightened partner or maybe a little positive attitude adjustment. Make sure you bring up all the positive ways that sex toys can enhance sexual fantasies. It’s all in the pitch. She may immediately have a change of heart. Whatever you do, unless she drags you off to the closest neighborhood sex shoppe dripping with excitement, don’t badger her. Think of this as mind foreplay. Build up the surprise gradually. The next step is to let her know about your fantasies.

OK, it’s a few days later. Now it’s time to tell her about your fantasies. If you present this right, she should get excited enough to want to fulfill your wildest dreams. Maybe this toy concept is a major step for you and her or maybe you are already experienced in swinging and couples stuff. If it’s the latter, as experienced swingers, you are likely to have played with a lot of toys already. If so, just remember that toys can remind you (or foretell) of your hottest couples encounters even when you are playing alone with her only. Anyway, the point is, tell her you want to buy a vibrator, so that she can use it in front of you. Tell her how hot that would make you by watching her pleasure herself first. Make sure you turn on your sexy charm and possibly come out with the direct approach like, "Honey, I want to buy you a sex toy." Or you can try the suggestive approach of "Wouldn't it be fun to try something new?" .

Assuming she agrees (if not, start all over with a little more naughtiness in your suggestions), it’s time to go shopping. Visit a few sex shops together and select the vibrator, and any other toys, she finds hottest and most appealing. Sometimes just reading the instructions can get you going. Some are designed to work on the vagina and clit at the same time, some are Jacuzzi friendly, some are bigger, some smaller bullets…..whatever works in getting aroused thinking and talking about it. While you’re at it, there are always gels, oils, powders, ticklers and all sorts of erotic paraphernalia to enjoy and consider buying. Hey, you’re there. Use the time to your advantage.

If she, or both of you are a bit on the shy side. Have no fear...that is the Internet's forte. Discreet shopping where no one knows who you are. Point, click, pay and a few days later....a discreet package arrives at your door. What could be better. Check out one of the bigger sites with a track record. Here's one for Glass Dildos for example. Glass is the in thing...but there are a lot more on this site and others like it.

OK, now it’s time for the best part, the testing. Remember, her vagina is very delicate so take it easy. No Roger Ramjet simulations at the beginning. You might want to start out with oral stimulation and some light finger and hand action. Help her relax. Get her hot and the juices flowing. If she is not hot yet, try to get her to use it on herself like you fantasized about. Use a little lube if needed. Perhaps enjoy stimulating her breasts or other erogenous zones of her choice, while she uses the toy to her liking. If you are in control of it, allow the vibrator to penetrate smoothly. Move it in and out and alternate with a little clit stimulation. Better, depending on the toy, penetrate and withdraw as you perform a little cunnilingus. Gently give your "sex toy virgin" an experience she will never forget.

Do this right and she will definitely ask you for seconds! But remember to keep changing it up. Don’t keep doing the same old thing. You both have a new sex toy friend. Hmm, a little fantasy and who knows what’s next. Multiple guys, DP, dripping wet hot sex and couples fun, the Naughty Lifestyles way!! Enjoy!

Naughty Group Foreplay Games – Anywhere

2005-02-09T13:42:00.000-08:00

Need some icebreakers? Let's get it started then! One way to get the party going, on the fly with minimal props, is to engage in some sexy games foreplay. Here are some samples to enjoy:

Pick any board game that might be available; any rendition of monopoly etc. Add to the board game some more cards with various “naughty forfeits”. These can be fashioned from note/scrap paper and contain any hot instructions that come to mind. Instead of “Do not pass Go and do not collect $200”, perhaps something like “remove some articles of clothing and/or lick or suck a nipple or other body part of the person to your right”, etc. The seductive and naughty suggestions can get hotter and hotter. Have all those in the room add to the pile if you run out of ideas. Share and share alike!

Take Charades or Pictionary and kick it up a few notches! Enact an erotic movie or key moves known to be trademarks of high profile porn stars. See how far you can get by enacting classics like “Deep Throat” or “Debbie Does Dallas” for example. By acting out sex position scenes see how many can guess your fictitious porn-actor name. Perhaps combine the usual naming strategy of using the first street you lived on or first pet you had plus the performance you put on for the group. Get wild in your actions and get some great names to be known by for the rest of the night....perhaps Fellatia Cox! A little libation and we are sure you can get naughty and very creative.

OF course there are a bezzilion ways to work sexual acts into spin the bottle, truth or dare, poker and just about any card or dice game.

Finally, when more articles of clothing are off or loose, take turns being blindfolded. Those who are not blindfolded hide a tasty item (like a berry or Hershey's kiss) somewhere on their naked body, and the blindfolded person gets to try to locate it using ONLY their mouth. So, kissing, licking, sucking and nibbling are all fair game. You can discuss whether or not moving the object is cheating......depends on how good things are going..... When it is found, pass the blindfold, or if the eroticism climbs rapidly......well, the ice has been broken rather successfully right? Enjoy!

Six hand, three tongue massage for her….and more…..

2005-01-27T13:41:00.000-08:00

Want to give an ultimate gift to the one you love and are secure with? Well then, let’s set the scene. If you do not have the ready and willing participants in mind, find some sexy partners on Naughty Lifestyles.com.

First a bath, drawn for her and scented with exotic perfumes and aphrodisiac oils. Next, serve up her libation of choice….or champagne, the nectar of the gods, would be very very fine. While you gently soap her down, a soft velvet blindfold is gently placed. Words of assurance, intrigue, and sexy innuendo prepare her for what is to come…..which you promise will be one for the books.

After the bath, sensually pat her dry and carry her to the room where a soft padded area or bed are waiting, along with two (or more) unseen friends. The three of you then begin a soft sensual caressing massage, designed to ever-increase the sexual tension. Anywhere along the line, there is ample opportunity for controlled orgasm……get her to the brink, tease, then back off, several times, ensuring an orgasm to remember when it finally is allowed to explode.

One way to start the massage is for her to lie on her front initially with one person devoting their attention to her neck and shoulders. At the same time, you or the third partner concentrate on the small of the back with a firm yet sensual approach, up and down her spine and the muscles surrounding it. The third, slightly spread her legs and starts with gentle brushes to the inner thighs, climbing higher and higher, interspersed with massage to the calf and thigh muscles themselves. An occasional brush against her wet and receptive labial lips will heighten anticipation. Rotate around so she knows several different people are pleasing her in different areas. Use scented warming oils in all areas to further add to the experience.

Time to turn over. Initially the legs are ever-so-slightly separated and her arms and hands allowed to roam and caress various parts of the massaging trio. Guide and let her touch and feel the aroused organs around her….the stiff throbbing cock(s) and wet pussy or pussies, depending on who the trio are. Rotating around, the same massage in this position is given up and down her body, arms and legs as when she was lying on her front. Special soft, but very intermittent attention is devoted to the breasts and nipples for the moment. Anticipation builds…..

When she feels very wet and ready, one of the participants gently spread and widely splays the legs spread-eagle. That first participant licks the labial lips, and clitoris and creatively uses hands, fingers or toys as the tension is now wildly climbing for her. The other two concentrate with their tongues, lips and gently with the teeth, on her breasts and nipples. Licking the nipples and gently sucking and light biting may all be part of the final arousal.

Make sure her hands and mouth are free to explore and continue to guide her to stiff and wet organs as much as she seems to desire. Remember to actively rotate attention and let her sample the male members’ cocks, initially as a tease….in and out and rotating around…..not yet to the repetitive deep thrusts. Let the vaginal juices really accumulate and the heat build in her receptive pussy. As she gets hotter and begs for more, the thrusting and simultaneous clitoral stimulation increase in response. As she seems ready to explode, remember the power of controlled orgasm….back off and let the other partner in to please and thrust or stimulate after a tension releasing moment or two.

You may not need it, as she should be drowning in her own juices by now, but keep some lube on hand for as long as she can handle it. Keep going until she explodes in ecstasy…. then fulfill her again and again……. as many more times as she desires with the organs and toys available……..

More on Aphrodisiacs and natural substances for another hot party night!

2005-01-19T21:18:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, Aphrodite, goddess born of the sea.... No surprise that many items from the sea are considered to have aphrodisiac properties. So, while getting ready for a night of lustful delights, and perhaps sipping a little nectar of the gods (champagne that is)…..consider ordering up some caviar. A little pricey, but caviar is loaded with known sexual stimulants including phosphorus and vitamins A,B1,B2,B6 and D. Not all in the realm of lifestyles of the rich and famous, there are caviar variants and champagnes that will not kill pocketbooks in the pursuit of pleasurable decadence.

Women, while primping for the anticipated sex, something to consider is Damiana, or Turnera aphrodosoaca. , derived from a native Mexican/Aztec shrub. It is often prescribed by homeopathic physicians for PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome). So, for starters, not a bad thing if the mood is not shaping up right. Mainly, as a nervine tonic, it has restorative powers for mucous membranes in the reproductive tract to keep the vaginal tissues naturally well “oiled” . As a bonus, it contains alkaloids that directly stimulate the nerves and sex organs to get that pussy wet and engorged.

Men, when lack of desire strikes, Brazilian men have long used teas which include the “potency wood” called marapuama (or muira puama) (Ptychopetalum olacoides) to sport some mahogany. You can find this at your local health food store or online in the form of Libidoblast®. The reason to consider this little mix is that it also contains a few other goodies, including Arginine, an amino acid which is essential to the nitric oxide pathway. This natural pathway has been scientifically shown to promote blood flow, which can engorge the penile and clitoral veins and lead to more pleasure. Add a dash of Niacin and one gets a sexual flush. With any substances that alter blood flow, please take with caution and optimally consult your physician if you are older or have any heart problems. A lot of wood or a wet receptive pussy won’t do you much good in the ER.

OK, you’re at the main event....and it’s getting hot in there with your friends from Naughty Lifestyles.com.....

If you are with your partner and going bareback you can use Jojoba, oil of Camelia, or grape-seed oil, which, when applied directly to the vagina acts as a natural lube. If you’re in a soft swing situation, you’re set. But if you are in full swap mode for the night, remember that oil/petroleum based lube will make swiss cheese out of condoms. Make sure you use a water based lube, a little on the thicker side for longer lasting pleasure and less reapplication. Often, one with aloe vera is a great natural combination.

At the end of, or during, a wild night of play when sore pussy might arise, take heed of a magical vaginal douche which promises to take you to the next level instead of closing the labial lips for the night. A combination of tea tree, ravansara, lavender and bergamot, mixed in about a cup of mountain fresh spring water will heal your woes and get you ready for a second go-around.

What you read has been reported over the eons by many, but in accordance with FDA regulation, we do not make any therapeutic claims for any Dietary Supplements in accordance with the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act. That said, remember, no one has jurisdiction over the truth…..and it is out there. Seek to know, learn to enjoy.

Considering Naughty Lifestyles?...Part 2

2005-01-10T16:52:00.000-08:00

This journal entry is for those who are in a true “relationship” and considering alternative lifestyles, swinging, wife swapping, or whatever you want to call it. If you are NOT in a committed relationship, and are thinking about spicing up a relatively new romance, this article is really not for you. In this latter case, you are looking to “co-date” and share casual sex with a partner, but are fundamentally single at heart. There is a place for this too, as there is a range of naughty lifestyles. However, it is not really part of the swinging alternative lifestyle as practiced within a committed couple mainstream.

So, perhaps you have been together for a while or perhaps not quite as long, but you both consider yourselves in a committed relationship or marriage. You think you know a lot about the one you’re with, but maybe you don’t know all there is to know…….yet. Hmmm, consider the mystery. A little mystery is good. Here is where the naughty fun can start, no matter how far along the naughty lifestyles continuum you end up. One thing is as sure as taxes and death, relationships get “comfortable”. Sexually speaking, this is often code for boring. Of course, there is a range to boring, but in many cases the passion fades so far that it all but disappears. This is OK for some couples, as all their other relationship interests are simply over-riding….but are you sure your partner feels that way? Don’t be surprised someday to find out about that little escapade, or affair or other sexual things about your partner on the, uhhh, deceitful side. This is not to say that you have to live in paranoia, but the more “comfortable”, the higher the risk for a little fling due to an unfilled need. How does one keep that passion, that hot naughty fire inside alive to avoid this? Well, beyond taking the time to enjoy your partner, using new techniques, toys, visual aids, making sure you are attractive to your mate (i.e. whip your ass into some kind of acceptable shape), there is always sex therapy, psychobabble etc. etc. This might work for some and not for others. Fundamentally, there is a need to constantly change it up, and the extent to which you need to do that is the question. The answer differs from couple to couple. But consider this very strongly; sexual passion is an animal desire. It’s more on the lust side than the love side of the equation. It’s what gets the juices flowing. If that is important to you, then perhaps you yearn to take part in the range of naughty lifestyles available to you. The question is, are both of you on the same page? Or, do you know? How do you know?

Perhaps you have started your search on the internet. Maybe you have run into a few lifestyles/swingers sites like Naughty Lifestyles.com. Depending upon how open minded you are, it may seem strictly taboo and overwhelming. But consider taking it a step and a time…..ease in, don’t jump in with both feet before you know how deep it is. Read a little on sites that address this topic with some degree of intelligence, including the pros vs. cons. Know that there is a range of naughty couple fun, not just one flavor. Many couples get into trouble by “accidentally” playing with another woman or man or couple while FUI (that’s code for fucking under the influence aka FWI or fucking while intoxicated). Bad scene in most cases….so NO, never that!

So, you think you might fit somewhere within the naughty lifestyles continuum? The next question is, would your partner go for it? Would they be as excited as you are to try it? How do you even approach the subject without your partner feeling that they may be less than what you expected? Try to think about it from the other person’s point of view; how do you know your partner hasn't been wanting to try something new and different also? There’s only one way to find out. You’re going to have to belly up and broach the subject, and here again easing into the subject is better than charging ahead like a bull. One major piece of advice: in this situation there is no such thing as “talking someone into it”. It will either strike a negative or a positive chord, probably somewhere in between unless you two are very much on the same page with most other things in you life. If the immediate reaction is way negative, back off and reassess. Perhaps a more subliminal or subtle approach is in order. Consider making comments while viewing an erotic film about how excited you might be to see him/her with another partner. The comment can be very explicit or merely mildly suggestive. Perhaps a comment about how hot it would be to watch another man’s cock sliding in and out of her wet and receptive pussy. Or how hot it would be to watch another woman’s pussy riding and grinding his cock. A twist might be naughty talk about how a little girl-girl play might be enticing to you. On the mild side, perhaps just suggesting the experience of having real couples in the same room (not touching each other but nude and playing), is enough of a suggestion. Maybe a hot tub “touch and tickle” suggestion? Who knows, you have to be creative and judge what your partner’s level of interest might be.

If your partner is not even into adult erotica, perhaps you need to explore sexuality between the two of you a bit more first. Remember, this is not a “replacement” proposition. The idea is more of an “enhancement” to your sensuality and sexuality. On the other hand, perhaps you enjoy hot sex with each other but just don’t like porn. OK, if that is the case, consider renting the 2004 release video “My Best Friend’s Wife” starring John Stamos. It is an R-rated comedy with some serious twists regarding two couples (really the two husbands) exploring the concept of swapping. In this case it is a situation between people who have known each other for a long time…..not usually the case in the swinging lifestyle. However, you get the idea. Watch the movie and observe his/her reaction to various parts…..talk about it during or after the movie. Passive encouraging comments might get you further at first…..like “that’s pretty hot” or “that’s sexy”, rather than, “hey I think we need to do this with our friends”. In this movie, everyone has an agreed upon “fling” and moves on with life, but you can see where things might have gone differently. Also, this is a movie where the suggestion is one on one sex at a remote location, not a couple with couple thing. The idea is to explore how receptive your partner might be to mutually agreed upon “playing” in some way.

Another way to consider breaking in the idea is at a lifestyle friendly clothing optional resort. Desire in Cancun Mexico is a couples only clothing optional place where you can do as much as you want, or as little as you want. The Hedo resorts are a bit more hard core in the sense that the “nude side” means no clothes and many of the couples are swingers. It is also mixed company, where singles are allowed. You are more likely to get propositioned there before you are ready. Don’t get us wrong, we enjoy both, but we give the edge to Desire as a “starter” resort.

Closer to home, an erotic party at a club might be the way to go. The “off-premise” clubs might offer a great start. In these clubs, no sex is allowed at the club…just a lot of sexy clothing (or lack thereof) and dancing. There is a range of the type of club and what is allowed. You can find these online, or click on our “friends” links at Naughty Lifestyles.com. We are building a list for you. When you go, who knows, you might meet a couple that you like who can guide you along or perhaps a couple just like you…..just exploring.

What happens when you set something up to meet someone? Before going beyond same room nudity and light touching, make sure you discuss the boundaries with your partner. Make sure you agree that you will both only go as far as some certain agreed-upon point or have some signal that things are too uncomfortable for one or the other. Again, a simple agreement to ease into things may be all you need to start with, since “over-talking” this can be a turn-off or downer. Just make sure you have engaged your brain before putting your cock or pussy into high gear. And remember, no FUI or FWI blotto free for all that might get you in trouble.

Who knows what could happen from there. Anything is possible! And, you might just find out it was worth taking the risk after all!

Keep the fire alive…..get playful and stay playful.

S&J

Lubricants..... what, why and how

2005-01-06T11:41:00.000-08:00

Almost all of us have used lubricants to keep the passion going without pain, unless of course pain is part of the agenda. But, assuming the former, what kinds of lubricants are out there and are there creative ones for an unprepared heat of the moment interlude?

Thin water based lubricants are the most forgiving on bed-sheets, floors and furniture, and are condom friendly, but while they don’t stain as much they dry up quickly. This can be solved by adding a little saliva periodically, but unless you want to keep adding lube or spit, there are other options. Also, this is the least likely to help in a Jacuzzi….and we all know that water by itself in a Jacuzzi is not a very good lube.

There are thicker “new and improved” water based lubes available, which are also condom friendly and are more appropriate for the additional lubrication required for anal sex. The thickness varies based on how much cellulose (a complex carbohydrate) and the amount and consistency of glycerin used. Various flavors are available in these, as in the thin lubes, and all that is usually calorie free due to non-sugar sweeteners. Here are some Juicy Lubes for you to do a little taste test with. In case you were wondering, complex carbs (the cellulose in these) are good carbs and won’t add to your spare tire or ass.

Oil based lubes are the latex condom’s mortal enemy. Unless you want the condom to look like swiss cheese within a few minutes, don’t mix these two. The cum shots won’t be in the condom and will be happily residing deep in the pussy. Not what one usually wants in recreational and multi-partner situations. Also, the more petroleum based the oil lube is, the harder it will be to wash off.

If you have a little extra coin, check out the new silicone based lubes. These are great for longer lube action, work well with condoms and you don’t have to reapply a lot for multiple cock insertions. Also, GREAT in the Jacuzzi….or at least the best there is. The lube stays effective far longer than any water based lube for an extended naughty good time.

When a spontaneous meet-and-great with a couple you met on Naughty Lifestyles.com turns hot and there are no lubes around (better to stay prepared and many of these lubes come in easy-carry sampler sizes), think natural. For a long time Crisco has been a popular vegetable based lube for both vag and anal sex and washes off rather easily. Failing that, remember what Marlon Brando used in the 1972 film Last Tango in Paris for the anal sex scene…..a stick of butter. Again, remember the incompatible latex condom on this last one.

OK, what about those sex prolongation gels which lube and help men keep at it longer? These are simply thicker water soluble gels with some various natural goodies like Ginseng, but the main actor is the tiny bit of benzocaine mixed in. Remember, this goes inside the condom not out…unless being used by the well acquainted bareback couple. The gel should not touch the clit, since the desensitization will occur there as well and be more of a pleasure block than a help to all you lucky multi-orgasmic women out there. It does not hurt the vaginal tissues and does not desensitize the g-spot as much.

Regarding anal sex specifically, more lube is required than for vaginal sex. These are simply two different organs. The vagina lubes well upon excitement with gobs of thin secretions the rule rather than the exception, up-to and including the ladies who can cum with more juice than a man. The anal area lubes with some mucus secreting glands, but the area is way more delicate and the amount of secretion is usually way less. So, to avoid the pain and trauma and guarantee multiple repeat pleasurable events, or multiple partners that hot naughty evening, use a lot of thicker lube.

By the way, most do not contain Nonoxynol-9 ( a spermicidal agent found on condoms and some contraceptive foams). Even if some do, Nonoxynol-9 will not protect you against viruses and bacteria and the amount would be totally inadequate to handle a wad of sperm for contraception, much less multiple cum shots in the same pussy. Most of the sperm still has to be caught in a condom for adequate contraception. So, if you’re bare-backing, which is never a good group or casual sex idea, be sure you know who you are with.

Have a naughty wet time!
Hedo Doc

Aphrodisiac vignettes…

2005-01-04T01:53:00.000-08:00

Here’s a little primer on sexually charging up with the help of aromas, oils, herbs and spices. We'll start with a little teaser for an ongoing NaughtyLifestyles series regarding enhancement of all your senses....

Aphrodisiacs go back thousands of years to the hedonistic Romans and Greeks, Chinese ancients and Tantric Hindus. Today there is a resurgence of interest in this knowledge base as we find out more and more that medicinal properties for pleasure abound in nature.

The word originates from the goddess Aphrodite, who is believed to rule all things sensual, including aromatherapy and massage. Aromatherapy, using perfume laden oils or inhalation via specially made diffusers can get the juices flowing nicely. The most famous of love perfumes is sandalwood, and one can find an array or incense, candles and oils in that genre.

So, where might one pop in for a quick aphro-pick-me-up with a prospective partner or two? Your favorite coffee shop might be an unlikely place, but the ingredients of “Chai” tea include potent sexually stimulating ingredients, including cardamom, cloves, black pepper and a dash of cinnamon. This is a great alternative for those who don’t partake in the grape……wine that is.

After a drink of Chai, perhaps a visit to the local higher end seafood eatery will allow you to sample one of the quintessential foods of love…. oysters. This makes for a light meal and the high level of Zinc is medically proven to improve sex drive.

With the sexual event now close at hand, guys, think about picking up some extra wood for the party. That can be arranged upon ingesting an extract of the tree bark from Corynathe yohimbe. This is the natural Viagra used successfully by African tribes for eons. You will find that Yohimbe stimulates the genitals, particularly the male’s, by improving blood flow to the area. Hmmm, that’s the way these new high priced erectile meds work only cheaper. With the exception of those needing prescription help for medical erectile dysfunction reasons, mahogany is a few strokes away. Ahhh, the wonders of nature.

Enjoy! More on this topic later……

Single males in swinging?

2004-12-30T23:09:00.000-08:00

Single males are often treated as “persona non grata” on a number of sites and boards and are usually explicitly NOT invited to lifestyle events. Are single men all SOL in naughty lifestyles or are there some suggestions that couples might have for generally “desirable” single males who want to participate? If so, what is it that makes them more desirable than not? These are our thoughts, but please feel free to add on to this thread.

There are several problems single men face. First, the vast majority of naughty lifestyles couples want to relate to other couples. Partly this may be related to less jealousy potential with committed couples, when compared to involvement with a single male who might have various possible motives. After all, the couples are hopefully both in stable relationships and there is less likelihood that anyone would try to steal away a wife, husband or partner......or become a pest, Jonesing for sex.

The second problem is that there are simply far many more men interested in the lifestyle than single women, and balance is good in everything, including gender balance in a lifestyles group…..especially when women get to choose who gets the honey. Here is a great description we found to drive this point home: “Look at it this way. Men produce 3 million sperm cells per minute. Women are born with all the egg cells they will ever have...and they end up maturing only a tiny fraction of them! By nature, females MUST be selective about the males they are attracted to. They're working with limited resources! Guys produce sex cells like confetti...cheap and renewable. We can "share" our seed at the drop of a hat. Very seldom will you see females of any species fighting over a male...but you'll often see the opposite. Same in humans. How often do you hear a fellow in a bar complain..."Jeez! I wish those girls would just leave me alone!"? So basically there is a HUGE oversupply of single men and little demand.

On Naughty Lifestyles we have had to limit the number of single males for reasons noted above. Posts that read something like “looking for "cunts" "pussy" etc” are not going to cut it. Most single men simply don’t understand that the mainstream of swinging, if you will, is not an ongoing fuck-fest with an “anything goes” flavor 24/7/365. Although orgies and more-somes are common as part of naughty lifestyles, a LOT of swinging is carried on couple on couple, which often includes a desire to go beyond recreational sex and get to know people. This is not always the case, but you get the idea…..there is a continuum.

Single females are far more likely to be accepted in the continuum of naughty lifestyles, but are really rather rare. If women want meat, they can go to any bar, not just swinger events. Also many more women are bisexual than men, so extra women are not nearly the problem than extra men.

However, with all of the above being said, single males can OFTEN bring some spice. MMF is not exactly rare. BUT the key is to present yourself well in person and in placing profiles on sites. It is true that it then usually boils down to "we'll find you" rather than the reverse. Many sites report that only 5-10% of couples are looking for single males and 50% are looking for single straight or bi-fems. On out site it is more 50/50, of those looking for a single playmate, but it is still a small poll sample.

This bears repeating: a BIG problem is that most single guys do not present themselves well and/or would not get a date anywhere even with $500 taped to their forehead. These single men do not get to play. And that’s fine…..maybe it’s not the place for you.

A well thought out profile on a site and a non-pushy, respectful and polite demeanor will go a long way. The gentlemen of the bunch WILL attract attention. Many sites, including Naughty Lifestyles, have search engines which allow couples to search for single guys specifically, should they desire to do so. In those cases, the above-described profile qualities will stand out.

Stay naughty everyone!

S&J

Men, keep that party in your pants going into overtime……

2004-12-28T20:52:00.000-08:00

Through the years men face three main sexual difficulties. The first is cumming too soon, the second is performance anxiety, and the last is being barely able to get it up at all while squeaking one wimpy cum-shot out. The latter is usually at the end of your sexual performance years, which you can’t do too much about other than staying healthy. Performance anxiety we already covered in another thread on NaughtyLifestyles. Like performance anxiety, the first problem is also something which you CAN do something about and it will keep you going and going like the EverReady Bunny in a one-on-one or group sex situation. And THAT, my friend, will keep you getting invited back for more and more.

Just like with performance anxiety it’s mind over matter; in this case, mind over your meat. Remember this….you control your dick, not the other way around! But control might be the wrong term. Control implies tension, or fighting with something. You really want the opposite, or some degree of relaxation. Assuming you’ve got a hot encounter going and the sexy lady in front of you is stroking, sucking or fucking you into oblivion, and you’re about to cum early and ruin it all (or before you can move on to the next hot naughty lady in the room)…………… your mission is to temper that excitement and pleasurable tension just a tad so that you can enjoy, enjoy and enjoy! Think of this like dancing. When you first learned you were out there looking like a tight rigid fool, but now you’re smooth, you go with the flow in busting your best moves to your favorite tunes. So, listen up, here are the sexual dance move secrets you need to master :

#1: OK, how much can you dead lift or press? Really? Now that’s impressive….OK, now how hard can you squeeze your PC muscle? Ya man, that’s your “love muscle”, the pubo-coccygeus. Learn it. Love it and it’ll take care of you. Without going into a lot of Anatomy 101, it’s that same muscle you use to cut off your pee midstream. Just like any other isolation techniques for biceps, quads etc. in the gym, you can isolate and work your PC. To learn this, first stop your urine midstream. When you learn how that feels, keep doing it while reading a book or watching TV, having lunch with that hot chick you’ve been fantasizing about or whatever. Release and tighten, release and tighten, as many times as you can. C’mon you wimp, at least 20-30 times! After you get good at this, try to “flutter” the muscle like 4 times per sec and repeat that. Feel the complete relaxation between flutters or squeezing exercises. Pretty soon you’ll be able to relax or squeeze your PC dance moves to keep on keeping on. Who’s next?

#2: Focus a little on yourself. That’s right, you’re so hyped about whether or not you’re going to perform well you’re not enjoying the trip. Learn to receive as well as to bang home a screaming orgasm to the naughty lady you’re enjoying the heat of the moment with. Don’t get me wrong. Give her pleasure, but if you relax and receive a bit you won’t be freaked and spent, ready to move on to the next willing and wet lady.

#3: Take a breath. In with the good air, out with the bad air….slow and easy, not like a spastic fool. Usually, when you get closer to orgasm you move harder, breath faster, or even hold your breath at that last climactic moment. Wrong! Slow it up! Take a deep breath and reverse that sexual energy. Even if you’re driving it home hard, take long deep consistent breaths. Practice this along with your PC exercises on the way to work and back. Smile, they don’t know what you’re doing anyway and it’s a lot more fun than listening to self improvement tapes.

#4: Cross over to a little Tantric relaxation of your whole body and all of it’s muscles. When a male is getting close to full release, all of the muscles join in with a spaz attack, sort of reminiscent of that “get-it-over-quick” sexual release in your teen years. The plain fact is that your body is conditioned to quick climaxes….get it over with and move on. Well, that’s OK, but if want to keep enjoying, you’re going to have to over-ride this spaz attack. The best way to banish this response forever is to learn relaxation techniques while self-pleasuring yourself. You don’t have to hook yourself up to a bio-feedback machine, but you’re going to have to listen to your body and change a few things. As you’re getting close, what’s happening? Are you breathing faster, feeling muscles tighten, what’s in your head, any feelings of urgency? Listen, learn and change. As you get close, firmly hold the end of your shaft with your fist until the sexual energy subsides. Start again, but this time……slow down the breaths, consciously relax your muscles, slow down your thoughts. Repeat as needed.

OK, now you’re ready to go, cuz you’ve fought for your right to party!! Stay playful!

Hedo Doc

Jealousy and Naughty Threesomes......

2004-12-21T13:37:00.000-08:00

We at Naughty Lifestyles.com ,wanted to post something on the topic of jealousy in threesomes and naughty lifestyles, which comes up all the time it seems. But we find that Suzy's sage advice from her newsletter is great for starters.
The following is a sample of Suzy Bauer's newsletter. Read & Listen up. If you enjoy it, check out her link below:

The truth is...You’ve learned jealousy from all the people around you, including your parents. Most people have three core beliefs about relationships that are guaranteed to create jealousy even in the most sexual liberal thinking people. The sad thing is that most of us have absorbed these beliefs without even realizing it!
Identifying and dismantling these beliefs in our mind and heart is the single most effective way to short-circuit jealousy. The reason why the idea of a threesome is unthinkable to many people is because they’ve been “programmed” this way.

Jealousy Belief #1
If my partner really loved me, he/she wouldn’t have sexual desires for anyone else but me.

This belief sees any interest your partner has in anyone else as a direct reflection of how much he or she loves you. It’s a quantitative view of love which equates the amount of love with the ability to be interested in having another partner.

This is nuts isn’t it?

We are sexual beings and it is normal to fantasize about being with other people. Denying these feelings goes against our nature.

Jealousy Belief #2

My partner can only be interested in some one else if I’m not a good enough in bed. This belief is even more sinister! With the previous belief you could at least blame it on your partner for not loving you enough.

This belief says that if your partner is interested in someone else, it’s your fault for not being the perfect lover or spouse therefore your relationship must be a failure.

If you truly believe that your lover could only be interested in another partner because you’re inadequate, you can see how that will generate jealousy big time!

Jealousy Belief #3
It’s impossible to share love with more than one person at the same time.

This belief is built on the "scarcity economy” of love; the belief that love is a scarce resource, that only so much goes around and that there’s never enough for all.

If my partner gives away love (time, love, affection, sex, support) to anyone else, that means that there is less for me.

This belief creates fear and uncertainty. If this belief were true, then a mother wouldn’t be able to her love her first child as much after she gives birth to the second child because she would have to divide her love between two.

In my eyes love is infinite, and the more you give the more you will receive.

Amending Your Beliefs
The beliefs mentioned below are connected to three primal fears and you’ll need to work on eliminating these fears. It might take a bit of time and effort to adjust and to create a new set of beliefs.

The first belief expresses a deep fear that you are not loved and will be abandoned.

The second belief taps into insecurities and the fear of not being adequate or deserving of love

The third belief is a fear of deprivation and being starved for love and attention.

Think for a moment how much influence these beliefs have had in your life so far.
Have compassion for yourself as you work with these beliefs and gradually replace them with beliefs that support your desire to embrace an open relationship.

Opting for a Better Set of Beliefs
Beliefs can be empowering and disempowering. You are who you are and you are where you are in your life because of your beliefs. If you want to start successfully exploring your sexuality it might be a good idea to opt for a new set of beliefs!

Enlightened Belief #1
My partner loves me so much that he/she trusts our relationship to expand and be enriched by experiencing even more love from others.

Enlightened Belief #2
Our relationship is so solid and trusting that we can experience with other people freely. My partner is so satisfied with me and our relationship that having other partners will not threaten the bond we enjoy.

Enlightened Belief #3
There’s an abundance of love in the world and there is plenty for everyone. Choosing to make love with more than one person is a choice that can exponentially expand my potential for giving and receiving love.

Imagine how different your life would be if you actually had this set of beliefs instead of the previous ones.

A person with this set of beliefs is not only ready to enjoy a threesome, but also ready to take their relationship to new levels of love and understanding.

Unlearning Jealousy

If jealousy becomes an issue for you and your partner, you might try working on some or all of these points:

Solid commitment

Good communication

Sticking to agreements

Reassuring each other's love before sexually playing with the 3rd person

Listening to each other's concerns and taking them seriously whenever they arise

Working on these points will eliminate jealousy a great deal, however they won’t banish jealousy altogether!

Being jealous is simply the way you experience certain feelings. Most people will say things like: “Oh, he makes me so jealous…” The truth is that jealousy is an internal emotion. No person or behavior can “make” you jealous. Whether you like it or not, the only person who can really banish jealousy is yourself. So if you want to unlearn jealousy you need to stop blaming and start acknowledging your feelings.
Next time you feel jealous, ask yourself; what does this jealousy really mean? Suddenly a new set of answers will come to you and you’ll be able to deal with jealousy in a more intelligent way.Remind yourself that you enjoy your lover's undivided attention any night you wish. However the night of your threesome is about sharing and enjoying.

Any hint of perceived competition, or "I'm not getting my share" or "you’re paying too much attention to him/her," and the evening will be ruined faster than the speed of light. This may lead to developing a sense of awkwardness afterwards with the third person, and a possible quarrel with your partner. If you make sure you and your partner are both emotionally ready before you actually get involved in a threesome, I can assure you success in taking the first step to fulfilling this beautiful fantasy!

This is from Suzy Bauer's Step By Step Threesome website Visit the site, she has a great e-book on the subject that you might like.

Regards, wishing you a playful, fulfilled and sensually charged life.
S&J

Sexy hot naughty resort destinations for couples

2004-12-20T10:53:00.000-08:00

Considering cutting loose and going away for a hot sexy time with your wife or significant squeeze? The mainstream "lifestyles" oriented resorts are the Hedonism Resorts in Jamaica (II and III.....don't ask about I), and Desire, near Cancun Mexico. There are others, and we'll get to those in a later post. We, S&J, a real couple from NaughtyLifestyles.com,have been to Hedo III multiple times and Desire several times. Let's start with Desire......

In our opinion, Desire is a great place for couples wanting to kick it up a notch and explore their erotic naughty side. There's something for everyone, even if you are not into "naughty lifestyles" or "swinging" per se.

Driving up to the place for the first time makes you wonder a bit, as you go through some typical Mexican sagebrush backroads (about a mile off the main road). If you are used to Mexico, it is about average in that area below Cancun. However, upon arriving and entering the property you are greeted with very nice and pretty well manicured grounds. There is a fairly long sandy beachfront along the length of the resort which is patrolled at the perimeter. The pool is not too large, but adequate for the number of rooms and given that there is a beachfront as well. The grounds are far cleaner and there is overall better service and options than the Caribbean Reef Club has/had down the road(CRC is closed at the moment). There is a spa, gym,massage available on premises at Desire. Oh, the beds.... well.....a bit of a bummer..... they are a bit small for queen size and are basically a mattress on a pedestal (no box springs)......so are not the most comfortable, in case you have back problems. Also, not sure how they thought more than one couple could enjoy the limited space....

The food is fairly good and is available at the poolside grill/bar during the day. There are several options for dinner (buffet area and a smaller more upscale restaurant), but make some plans to visit Cancun for at least one dinner excursion. The cab ride is about 1/2 hour. It's worth the variety and could be a lot of fun with a group.

The atmosphere is pretty laid back, but there are a lot of daytime pool activities if you want to participate (from water polo to games to body painting) and an attentive staff. Sex (other than erotic naughty touching) in public places is not allowed, but in the later evening hours this rule is pretty relaxed.....especially near the upstairs jacuzzi and cabana canopy covered beds. Well, there are also exceptions....When we were there last, one very hot lady jumped up on the table in the main retaurant, stripped and proceeded to give a few guys a blow job to a willing audience. You definitely have to keep an open mind when going to a resort like this.

The night life on grounds is fun, but is not a very late-nighter in terms of the disco and things. They have some theme nights with various dress etc, but it is not quite like Hedo which keeps on going and going and going. By midnight or so, there are either private parties going in the rooms (lots of those), or some late night jacuzzi action (including the outside canopy beds), or it's lights out.

The patrons are a mix of naturists and lifestylers, and couples that are just there to have a good time and don't really identify themselves as either. Of course it depends upon who is there at the time, but we find it to be no pressure and an overall good time. You might be propositioned, and that's the nature of resorts like this. But, "no means no" as usual in naughty lifestyles.

On a practical note, even though they have fixed most of their power issues, there are still some power outages....which can affect getting ready for dinner and the in-room jacuzzi operation.

There is a pretty good overview and some other trip reports at: Mexico4Love

Back to Hedo and other resorts later!

Stay naughty!
S&J

Hedonistic play and STDs......truth in playing info

2004-12-16T14:50:00.000-08:00

Listen up. This is important if you want to be a safe sex player and keep playing! You can have fun AND stick around. Although discussing this is not the fun part of naughty lifestyles, this stuff has to be raised to keep everyone aware.....it's a jungle out there....play safe!

We play and play but how can one "be safe"? Well, naughty lifestyles are a bit more high risk than being celibate or in a monogamous relationship (ONLY when the other partner has NEVER EVER been promiscuous and does not cheat!). BUT, the risk can be minimized through protection and selection.

Transmission of AIDS is of course cut dramatically by use of condoms, as is the transmission of most other diseases that are passed around by mixing bodily fluids. Be careful of passing around toys also, one can certainly contract disease that way unless condoms are changed over them too, or washed, between use on/in different partners. Various viruses and bacteria can live on the toy for up to several days. Wash the toys before playing again! If bareback is your game, which is NEVER a good idea, then beware that anal sex can transmit AIDS more frequently than vaginal sex. Also, oral sex is not "safe" as far as transmission of virus goes, especially if one engages in some variation of bukake (that's cumming all over someone's face for you newbies out there).

Human papilloma virus (HPV) transmission (the virus which causes cervical cancer) is not prevented completely by use of condoms. In fact, there is no way to prevent this transmission because the virus can hide anywhere on the external or internal genitals of the male and female. The fairly good news is that while this virus can often cause abnormal Pap smears due to pre-cancers, invasive life-threatening cervical cancer is still rather rare. Nonetheless, anyone who plays should have a Pap every year and consider testing for HPV as well (a simple swab of the cervix at the same time as a Pap). This is expecially true for those who play unprotected. Good news.....a vaccine is well along in the testing stages. Look for it over the next 5 years or so.

Sex, drugs and limp willies

2004-12-14T10:04:00.000-08:00

Hey, everyone is up for a good party, and a little of your favorite indulgence can help keep the house rockin' but excessive FUI or FWI ......that's "fucking under the influence" or "fucking while intoxicated"......can lead to problems socially and with your tool guys. So, maybe a few words about alcohol and drug-related causes for limp willies is in order. (see the other journal entries on this blog re: limp dick prevention).....

We can get to the wine, beer and martinis a bit later, but lets first dismiss the benefits of some other substances in the lifestyle.....that is if you want to perform at your studly best and keep on.....keep on.....

Any doctor, and perhaps a few lay authorities in Hollywood, will tell you that those little white lines will pretty much cut the party in your pants short. We won't get into all of the medical stuff here, but suffice it to say that too much blow may cause dick droop by a complicated mechanism with reduces testosterone in your body. In the long run, as we get older T levels go down anyway.....not a good thing for sex. You need to keep that T level up as long as possible since that is what makes wood and a desire to put it somewhere warm. In the long run this Testosterone decrease will lead to a lot of embarrassing limp willy moments.....otherwise known as erectile dysfunction, if you want to talk with your doc about it. Just remember that medical studies report 50-70% of alcoholics and drug users have erectile dysfunction. So plan your life accordingly. You won't get invited to too many lifestyle events or please many couples with a sickly limp puppy in tow.

Oh yeah, almost forgot....cocaine can cause heart attacks. That'll cut a whole lot of parties short.

Stay fun and play hard! Later.

More on Limp Willy and your psyche.....

2004-12-13T13:37:00.000-08:00

OK, about the psychological overlay on this limp issue. Again, let’s assume that you are healthy and you are not on any medications that can directly cause erectile problems and this did not happen on the rare occasion that you happened to be totally shit-faced.

It may help you to know that performance anxiety is not limited to sex. It’s much broader. Think of it as a variant of stage fright. You are self-conscious and anxious about how your speech or performance will turn out. Result…. predictably, this anxiety leads to a very crappy performance. Same thing occurs with sexual performance anxiety, and the more it happens the more it messes with your mind and self esteem. It can also be a slippery slope and lead to performance deterioration in other areas of your life. So, listen up, this is important. The more you think and worry about it, the more it causes anxiety, the more you are in need of a strategy to break this vicious cycle.

Depending upon how active you are in the lifestyle, there are issues which go beyond those found in a dating or marriage situation. Does this happen only with other women, or does it happen with your main partner/wife too? These two situations differ a bit, but both involve the other person too….for which you are put on the spot regarding an explanation. A whole range of feelings/emotions can cloud thinking and interaction, including anger, confusion, frustration, fears, rejection, etc. You are not the only one thinking about what this means. So, it is likely that you will need to offer up an explanation. In any case, it is probably best that you make sure your partner(s) understand(s) that it is not her/them (we are assuming there was sexual attraction here and you were not “doing one for the team”……that would explain the problem dude). Being open might at least get you invited back for another romp….

Now on to you…... If it happens, don’t immediately focus on your penis as if it’s the only tool you have in the whole wide world. It will only become more limp in a “pressure” situation when your partner is watching and waiting. Instead, relax, you can get the job done other ways, and your main tool is likely to get jump-started when you hear and feel the moaning, groaning and motion of a woman being satisfied. So, have some alternative sex tool strategies. Make liberal use of your tongue, lips, hands, fingers, feet, and various sex toys. A dripping wet pussy and shaking orgasm by your partner(s) WILL stimulate you in most cases….and then it can be your turn…you have already performed! No need for performance anxiety at this point……time to enjoy! Repeat as directed.........

One more tip:
....if it's sort of working for the eve and sort of not, think about a cock ring. Pop it on while you have at least some wood going. If you're at least turned on enough to get it up and at least hard for a little while, popping on a flexible cock ring will keep it up longer. We'd recommend a flexible latex or rubber one rather than a metal one, but to each his own. The flexible ones are easy to pop on and adjust....but more importantly, easier to pop off when done.....and you don't set off the airport alarms either. Just in case you're flying out the next morn...LOL.

Limp Willy and Performance Anxiety?

2004-12-13T13:31:00.000-08:00

We've all been there, and today we even have the secret weapon(s)....Viagra, etc. etc.

But, seriously, what a big bummer for everyone. How can you avoid this? How have you handled this.....situation....?

Happens to the best of us, and really....all of us. Anyway, I see that there has been some interest here but no replies. Well, here's some medical overlay....

You can ask yourself some things which can help you sort it out......especially if this is not the first time....

Did this just start or has it been going on forever or has it been a gradual onset thing? Do you have physical or medical problems and are on medications? If it just started, have you had recent stresses, illnesses, changes in diet or medications? Have you seen your doc if it has been going on for a while? If you have not had a check-up in a while, this might be a good time to do that.

Could you be on the good side of this thing and maybe over-extending yourself with being over-sexed(might it help to refrain a little and see if there is a "build-up" which does not lead to let-down)? You dog you!

On the more serious side, are you on medications that specifically cause sexual problems (e.g., antidepressants, pain medications, blood pressure medications)? Do you drink a lot of caffeine drinks, or alcoholic beverages? Do you smoke? All of these can lead to short or long-term sexual performance problems.

More on the psychological issues here later. But one VERY important warning for all you internet Viagra afficianados. DO NOT use Viagra or any of the newer erection enhancing drugs if you are on any blood pressure medications or nitroglycerin for heart problems. This can KILL you!!! The mechanism is a rapid drop in blood pressure. So please ask your doc before taking Viagra or anything like it if you are on any other medications.

Be Naughty responsibly........

What is “Swinging”, or the “Lifestyle”, or are there variations, and….is it really for us??

2004-11-07T18:15:00.000-08:00

Please visit and join us at NaughtyLifestyles.com.....we're waiting for YOU!! Be naughty!

The term “Swinging” is used interchangeably with “The Lifestyle” and you may also hear a common combo term, “Swinging Lifestyle”. All these terms basically refer to couples having consensual sexual contact with other couples or with an individual, most often a woman. Sexual contact is variably defined. Hence, there are a lot of variations or “Lifestyles” that are naughty in nature, representing a continuum of Naughty Lifestyles.
Being naughty may start with a little exhibitionist streak, which leads into common area nudity and playful sexual contact not involving much beyond light touching and caressing; oral or genital sexual contact is reserved for their own partner. This is a step beyond “nudism” and may be referred to as “same room sex”. The voyeur in us leads to a sexually stimulating situation, and may be enough for some couples to put a little spice in their life.
Moving up the naughty ladder, couples may agree to same room sexual contact which involves kissing and oral-genital contact with the other couple or single. This type of foursome or threesome activity falls short of vaginal penetration (other than with toys), and is referred to as “soft swap”. Many “swingers” find their comfort zone in this naughty lifestyle, providing a bit more sexual tension exploration than a “look but don’t touch” lifestyle allows.
The next naughty step requires a greater release from jealousies and perhaps more trusting relationships. Couples and select singles come together, initially in the same room, with all mutually agreed upon sexual contact activities allowed, including vaginal and anal penetration. It can be very erotic and stimulating to watch your partner involved in sexual enjoyment with another while you are having your naughty way with their partner. Likewise, a threesome with male-male-female or male-female-female interlude fully allows your senses to explore your inhibitions.
While many couples restrict their naughty swinging lifestyle to same room or same area activities, there is something about the occasional erotic romp in another area. Both couples are in the same building or general area, but this naughty variant allows some separation and sexual activity out of direct line of sight. For some couples, same room activities with direct observation of their partner’s enjoyment are central to the erotic experience. Others enjoy the mystery and imagination regarding what may be going on in the other room while they are exploring their sexual fantasies with someone else. Very naughty, and the hottest form of the swinging lifestyle for many.
Some completely open couples choose to play together AND apart. In other words, they explicitly agree to have sex with others at any time they choose. Clearly this type of relationship is quite unique and must be completely jealousy-free. Some might argue that there may be too much potential for mis-communication, secrecy and deception in this naughty lifestyle. But to each their own...whatever works.
Where do these naughty swinging lifestyle encounters take place? That depends on preference. Some fifty years ago, perhaps the only way naughty couples could get together was via “swinger ads”. Now, in addition to printed ads in swinger oriented newspapers and magazines, there are options for meeting like-minded couples via internet websites and at clubs which cater to the swinging lifestyle. By placing profiles on websites such as NaughtyLifestyles, couples and select singles can specify their interests and meet only those that match their profile for private encounters or in small parties. Couples meet and greet at mutually agreed upon venues such are local bars, clubs, restaurants and private residences. In addition, couples can attend private clubs and parties and meet those of interest on-site. Some of these clubs are on-premise, meaning sexual activity in designated areas is allowed. Others are off-premise affairs during which couples may meet, talk, drink, and dance, but then go to their place of choice for sexual swinging encounters.
Some couples desire multiple partners for sexual encounters only, others like to make naughty friends for erotic repeat encounters of choice. Some prefer three-somes and four-somes, others a larger group orgy, some prefer private encounters, while others enjoy the exhibitionistic rush of sexual activity in an on-premise club. In short, there are different strokes for different folks, and all such naughty activities are within Naughty Lifestyles.
Swinging traditionally refers to heterosexual couples or straight men and bi-curious/bi-sensual women. However, there are now swinging S&M and B&D and fetish dressing swingers, as well as gay and lesbian swingers. Again, a lot of flavors to Naughty Lifestyles.
For further information, the interested couple should contact NASCA International, which is an inter-national organization that has been developed to promote correct swinging education and information.
What are the benefits of a naughty swinging lifestyle? Well, there are actually quite a few. In practice, there are four sexual lifestyles(disregarding sexual orientation): (1)celibacy and self pleasuring (2)monogamous/marriage (3)monogamous/marriage and cheating (4)swinging. It is very common for the second option to become boring or otherwise unsatisfactory and be plagued by the third option, which involves deceit. Those involved in some variation of Naughty Lifestyles continue to explore their sexuality and are far far less prone to cheating and often find a great degree of fulfillment. A swinging lifestyle can enhance a relationship and the commitment involved in a couple’s relationship. The other’s sexual needs are placed at or above the other’s needs. Honesty and communication are central to the swinging lifestyle, thereby emphasizing the most important qualities of a healthy relationship.
Swinging allows couples to explore their sexuality and sensuality in ways that are impossible in so-called “vanilla” or traditional lifestyles. Swinging provides bi-curious women and avenue to explore their potential bi-sexuality rather than involvement in a lesbian community which may or may not be right for them. The swinging lifestyle allows couples, and select men and women the opportunity to reject monogamy within an accepted global community, rather than being labeled as sluts, whores, gigolos or doms. Swinging couples can then allow themselves to relax and find out what they really like sexually, without worrying about artificial restrictions put upon them by society at large.
Some aspect of Naughty Lifestyles, if viewed as a naughty continuum outlined above, may be appropriate for most people. However, a swinging couple lifestyle, involving extensive sexual contact with others is not for everyone. Swinging will not “fix” otherwise broken relationships. In fact, without a strong relationship based on unselfish love, and without full discussion of the sexually sensitive issues, jumping into swinging can tear a relationship apart. On the other hand, discussion of some of the issues may help rekindle, recharge and rebuild relationships without ever participating in swinging per se.
There are many myths regarding the swinging lifestyle. For the overwhelming majority, swinging is not a freewheeling daily orgy gang-bang joyride. As noted above, swingers rarely cheat on their partners, and it is just as deceitful as in a monogamous relationship. A swinging lifestyle is not about dishonesty, lying, cheating and infrequent communication. Swinging is not ever meant to promote unsafe, indiscriminant sexual contact. Most Naughty Lifestyles couples seek quality sexual and/or sensual experiences rather than frequent sexual encounters with multiple anonymous partners. However, the degree of promiscuity is an individual couple’s decision. The idea is to match up with those than are most like-minded to you in the Naughty Lifestyles continuum……
We will continue with more on etiquette and safe sex next time…

Where do you go to meet swinging couples?

2004-11-05T14:31:00.000-08:00

Swinging is just part of the "lifestyle" or the "alternative lifestyle"....and in our mind, is part of the naughty continuum. The concept is to add some zest and spice to your life and relationship. It is not all about sex, it is not anything related to "cheating", because it is the consensual activity or activities that two partners choose to pursue. We will be covering these things and invite your participation. We have a home webpage, and can be found at: http://www.naughtylifestyles.com/
We'll see you there and here.....but we invite you to explore and let your senses explore your inhibitions! Change your latitude....